So, I thought it would be prudent at this juncture to introduce you, my beloved readers, to the main players in the Dharma Initiative Octagon Global Recruiting recruitment project. So without further Freddy Adu, here they are.
Number One: Hans Van Eeghen
First up is my main man, Hans Van Eeghen, also known as "The Eggstractor"
What are you gonna do when the eggstractor goes wild on you?
The things you need to now about Hans are: he's some kind of European, he suffers from painful anal fissures that complicate his bowel movements, and he's VERY high in cholesterol, so don't eat him more than a couple times a week.
Numero Dos: Honda Big RuckusGuy
What's the big ruckus?
Usually simply referred to as "RuckusGuy" this "Guy" is really just Rachel Blake with Rollie Fingers mustache.
What Rollie does in his free time is really none of my business
Last but not least: Secret Squirrel
How these two jackasses get anything done is beyond me
Secret Squirrel plays a key role in "The Project". However, the nature of this clandestine critter's involvement with the Dharma Initiative is not yet fully understood.
Alrighty, now that you're some kind of expert about "The Project", send Hans an e-mail with some tips about how he can soothe his aching bunghole.
Do you feel lucky Hans?
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